Carl Rogers was a psychologist who believed if the therapist could possess three attitudinal ways of being that the client could feel safe and drop their defenses spiraling down deeper into their experience. Please let me define what I mean by attitudinal way of being.The definition of attitudinal isĀ related to one's feeling, mood or manner of acting. These three attitudinal ways of being are unconditional positive regard, empathy, and congruence.
Unconditional Positive Regard: Unconditional Positive Regard is accepting another without any conditions. I believe those around me are doing the best they can even if they are behaving and saying things I may not agree with. When I am having unconditional positive regard toward another, I am open to the other person to what they're saying what they're doing. I am not judging and evaluating their experience, but being with them.
Empathy: Empathy is understanding someone what they are saying, and doing, accepting them. When I have empathy for another, I can be in their shoes and understand and accept their experience or behavior.
Congruence: Carl would describe congruence as not wearing a professional mask. There is a matching between what one is feeling inside and what they're showing externally. For example, you wouldn't be expressing, deep grief for someone and laughing at the same time. I also tend to think of the word, congruent as authenticity. For me, my authenticity is being the sprouted spirit that our creator/s planted in the ground.
I do not expect anyone to be anyone's therapist year. What I have found in life embracing these conditions by being, living them has allowed me to find my humanity. After all, I am a human seeking my humanity so I can become, all I potentially can be. As spirit in a body and the spirit is pure love.š